Jack an Me 2

 

I should start by telling you a joke.

Once there was this guy who driving home from work when he noticed a hand painted sign on the side of the road. “Talking dog for sale. $5.00” He continued driving until his curiosity got the best of him. He turned the car around and approached an old man sitting on the front porch.

“I hate to be such a sucker but what is this about a talking dog? It’s some kind of joke, right?”

The old man took a long drag from his cigarette, looked at the guy and sighed.

“It’s no joke. The old dog can talk. Why don’t you just head round back and see for yourself.”

So, the guy follows the old man’s directions and sure enough there is this old dog just sitting out in the sun there beside a faded red doghouse with a picture of a bone above the door. He approaches the dog, gives him an embarrassed kind of half-hearted wave and when he gets close enough he says.

“The man on the front porch says you can talk.”

The dog lifts his head and stares at the guy. The dog just stares until the guys says,

“I didn’t think so.”

That’s when the dog opens his mouth

“You didn’t think what…that I could talk?”

The guy is stunned.

“Uh…Yeah….” he stammers, “I was sure this must be some kind of joke”.

“No joke.” the dog replies. He sits up and begins to tell the guy about his life as a talking dog. It turns out that when he was much younger that he spent years working as an undercover drug dog.

“Because no one suspected that I could talk they wouldn’t mind discussing all of their secret business around me.”

So, eventually he leaves the undercover drug business to raise a family but when his pups are all grown and he eventually goes to work as an undercover dog for the CIA.

“No one suspects me of being an agent,” he says. “They all felt their secrets were safe around me.”

The guy talks to the dog for some time and the stories the dog tells are amazing. Each one is more incredible than the next.

When he gets ready to leave the old man is still on the porch.

“You were right,” he says. “That dog really can talk!

“I told you,” replied the old man. “He can talk.”

The guy pulls his hands from his jeans and gestures toward the back of the house.

“If that dog can talk, then tell me, why are you selling him so cheap?”

The old man takes another long drag from his smoke and shakes his head.

“It’s a damn shame,” he replies, “but the dog’s a liar. You can’t believe a word he says.”

 

The reason I tell this story is because you may wonder how I got to be friends with the president – well the ex-president I guess, since he is technically dead and this being a very big secret. The answer is that I am like that dog – but a kid, and people sometimes feel free to say things around kids especially a kid who doesn’t lie and who is very good at keeping secrets.